Tags

, , , , , ,

(I used to be suicidally depressed but by practicing this attitude for the last 20 years or so, I got turned around.)

Like Looking for Golden Easter Eggs  —  It’s My Job to Find Them. To load my basket full of these Golden Gems of Happiness. For me, it’s an essential secret ingredient to having a decent life

Then I will make up to you for the years that the swarming locust have eaten. The creeping locust, the stripping locust and the gnawing locust,  “You will have plenty to eat and be satisfied

Joel 2:25

This is my life passage. The more I think this way, the more abundant my life has become. It has been my experience that my life’s course is definitely affected by how I think about it.

Practicing keeping all these beautiful, wonderful things in my mind as much as I can has made all the difference in my sobriety. Doing this has made sobriety as good tasting as it could possibly be. And I believe I’ve just scratched  the surface of  all  the good things out there that H.P. has provided. This is my “secret ingredient”  to a good, contented sobriety.

There’s 253 golden eggs in my basket.

How can I not be butt happy?

One of the things I’m most thankful for is that  H.P. helped me see the value of thankfulness. Growing up, my family knew nothing about how important thankfulness is for a good life. The family motto was:  “Life is hard and then you die.” H.P. got me out of that this way.

I have been comparing my life as I have it now to if I had to live in a refugee camp; or if I lived on the garbage dumps in Mexico; or as a street urchin in Buenos Aires.

It would be a good idea to pause and consider each one as it is read. Take in fully it’s meaningfulness.

Everyone

Let me know what things you are adding to this list
so I can put them on it.

(for Christians)

———————————————————-

That H.P. gave me Jesus who introduced me to my Higher Power and to a love and acceptance I could never have dreamed of.

Being given a God/Jesus/Holy Spirit who totally loves and accepts me just the way I am. And who are growing me up slowly and surely so I can have a decent life. So much better than my parents were ever allowed to have.

God giving us His word, the Bible, so we don’t have to stumble around in the dark.

H.P. blessing me with a 6th sense so that I can connect with Him in the spirit world.

God providing us freedom to worship however we wish in this country.

A copious number of Churches. I have my pick!!

The love that Jesus has given me in abundance and which I am allowed to pass on to others so I can feel useful while I’m in this world.

My twin sister Jackie’s pointed questions about Christianity which has pushed me to study my faith and the Bible more.

Eileen – a wonderful, knowledgeable woman to help me understand the Bible better and  to value it more than I ever had before.

All the church-type meetings there are for me here, where I can connect with other Christian people as much as I could ever possibly want.

My church where I can worship my Higher Power in communion with others of like faith and where I am free to worship without fear.

And my Pastors & Elders and all others who serve.

“Sherwood Productions” who have put out 4 super-great Christian movies.

———————————————————————-

God’s abundant love in powerful, supernatural, and numerous healing miracles done to me over the course of my life (especially in sobriety).

My husband Jerry, who God gave to me. And who has stayed with me for over 30 years. We are so much alike it’s easy to be with him.

Our little planet set exactly as it is needed to be so that it will support our fragile lives.

>>Our sun, that sits at the exact distance from us to give us warmth and light us so that we don’t roast or freeze, and that shines for ½ the time so that we can get our work done; and gives us darkness ½ the time to rest.

>>Our moon put at the exact distance needed and being the exact right size to keep our oceans moving while not over-powering us with tidal waves.

>>The salt in our oceans which is at the exact pH level so as to act as a healing substance for wounds. I’m sure there are other reasons for the salt in our oceans but as of now I don’t understand them.

>>Our ozone layer surrounding our planet which keeps the atmosphere from being disbursed into outer space and keeping dangerous sun rays away from our fragile physical bodies.

Clean, fresh water to drink and bathe in.

Oxygen that brings life to our bodies. (Imagine trying to live without it.)

The change of the Seasons so that the weather is never boring.

Beautiful, calming trees, forests, flowers and meadows, majestic mountains and valleys.

The fluffy white clouds which are so relaxing.

All the green trees and colorful foliage all around.

A soft, relaxing blue sky – imagine if the sky were red or purple all the time. – Ugg!!

Rain and Snow which create wonderful and interesting weather. And my home where I can watch it happening from a warm protected place.

A white blanket of snow on the ground. It makes everything look soooo cool.

The Oceans, Lakes, Streams, Brooks of wonderful clean, clear water.

The stars, that fill the night sky with fantastic beauty.

The 2 planets right next to each other that I can see in the night sky right now.

The moon – Last night there was a beautiful crescent moon low in the sky with Venus next to it. Gorgeous

All of Nature – God’s splendid artistry. We live in paradise.

That, out of just plain old dirt, sun and water, God produces hundreds of varieties of wonderful, colorful, flavorful foods to eat so that we won’t get bored with the same food day in and day out.

The dawn and the dusk – so beautiful.

Luscious fruit in dozens of different colors, shapes, and flavors – so sweet.

All the stuff I have & all the people who invented, designed and made all this stuff.

That I was given alcoholism, food disorder, bipolar disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder from childhood abuse and an attack at age 22. And that having all these things to deal with got me to A.A. at a young age – 25.  Sobriety has been a spring-board that propels me to heights way beyond what my family taught me.

All my God-given years of sobriety and still being alive to enjoy it.

A tough childhood so that I was able to get to AA  – and stick with it through thick and thin.

Being attacked so that I was able to “hit bottom” with the alcohol at a young age. Also, being kept alive going through it.

Bipolar disorder – both a blessing and a curse. Blessing because it  made it possible for me to have many spiritual experiences of the “sudden and spectacular upheaval” variety.

Each day of sobriety I’ve been allowed to have.

Being given many, many exceptional experiences which are teaching me how to live a life that just keeps getting better the longer I’m sober.

Being given alcoholism because I get to be given the gift of Alcoholics Anonymous – and sobriety along with all the wonderful things I am learning in the program. With the back-ground I came from it has taught me how to turn my life around  so I am able to live a good, useful life.

H.P. removing my alcohol obsession. Something I could never have done on my own

Being delivered from the 49 / 51 plan of sobriety – walking the razor’s edge – half of me wanting to drink and half of me being afraid to.

Feelings — that add interest & pizzazz to life.

H.P. giving me a good sense of humor – and laughter to make hard times easier.

Having all around good physical health

Learning about how important it is that, although sobriety is supposed to be lived one moment at a time, this sobriety can be lived over the long haul for the rest of my life. And understanding that sobriety shouldn’t be run like a 50 yard dash, but a marathon; and  knowing about what it takes to run a marathon rather than a 50 yard dash; to avoid the stress of getting ‘well’ overnight.

H.P giving me some “open-mindedness” “willingness” and  especially “honesty” so that I can have this precious gift of sobriety.

H.P. giving me the courage to keep pulling my covers and be human. Always “green and growing”.

Having a good sobriety so that I can have something to give back to other AA’s.

The people who love me – and that I can love back.

H.P. giving me the gift of mercy so that I can love the “unlovable”.

That there is so much love going on all around in the world – and that I get to be a part of it.

Having a countless number of AA meetings I could ever possibly want or need.

The good sober people I have found in AA here in Florence.

Bill W. and Dr Bob; who worked tirelessly to get and keep AA going.

People who start and serve AA meetings.

AA Long-Timers with experience strength & hope.

AA Newcomers. They keep the program fresh.

The Big Book & the 12 x12. God wrote a couple of special books just for us drunks.

All the AA books and literature that are teaching me how to live a better life.

Also having Celebrate Recovery meetings to learn about co-dependence.

God providing ACA. He gave us a way to mend from our childhood experiences.

Being given the courage to start an ACA meeting.

God creating AlAnon where I get to learn more about how to deal with people and overcome my paranoia.

TV shows which are so amusing and entertaining.

Being given the experience of being able to LGLG  (“Let God & Let God”) of something permanently and being able to understand  PKS (people know stuff) which keeps me always green and growing.

Bathrooms & Tubs & Showers

And H.P. giving me the ability to laugh at my own foibles and character defects.

The piano & banjo which allow me to move inside the  music.

Music itself and having good ears to hear it  that adds so much zest to life.

Being given the knowledge of how to make pot pies, including making the crust from scratch. I love making pot pies. He also gifted me with huge bowls for them.

Also, being given the knowledge of how to make good home-made spaghetti – and turkeys. As well as other good things to eat.

The 2 “God Jobs” I was given that both suited my needs at the time. The 1st was pretty mindless but where I was allowed to go to an AA meeting every day at lunch. The 2nd was fun, creative, and stimulated my mind. I held both these jobs for 7 years each. The longest I’d ever been able to hold any job before this.

This computer – internet, and e-mail programs, which are all marvels of science that I will never understand the inner workings of but that I can operate..

A strong desire to write and being given a little bit of talent for it (so I’ve been told)

A mind  to see miracles all around – and to write about them. Writing adds tremendous joy to my life.

My red notebook and all the wonderful things it has allowed me to keep for memories. Also my red pen which is so colorful and fluid and easy to write with.

My friend Lisa. Who is very lively and entertaining. God gave me a friend that is sticking with me through thick and thin.

The word processor on my computer that allows total freedom to write and move words around so as to edit all that I need to. And H.P. giving me the brains as to allow me to comprehend how to use it (like I’m doing right now.)

Eye’s that work – to be able to read with. And a clear mind so that I can understand what I read and what others say to me.

Talk Radio to keep me company when I’m alone

Documentaries — which help us understand past, present & future events & happenings.

The beautiful photograph postcards H.P. gave me to put up on my wall in front of my computer so that I always have something beautiful to look at while I’m writing.

My pink-fern meadow that I used to enjoy as a child on my grandmothers farm

Yosemite & the Grand Canyon. Awesome

H.P. giving me freedom from suicide obsession. This is also a miracle in that most people with this problem have to live with it their entire lives.

Also: H.P. removing the constant anxiety I had my whole life. Something that most people never get to experience the removal of this condition.

The 164 +  anonymous programs.

Hair color in a bottle & the great hair dressers who color and cut hair

H.P giving me the gift of freedom from anger toward my father who treated me like a thing rather than a person. And even more so, having actual pity and compassion for the crazy man. God showed me the amount of pain he himself was carrying.

That, after 19 years of no contact, H.P. got me together with my father just before he died.

H.P. giving me full-fledged freedom from the guilt of an abortion. Something I have seen is very rare to have happened. Many women live with this terrible guilt their whole lives but I was given freedom from all of it – fully cleansed from the guilt.

(go here to learn what I did)

Being given all the warm shower water I could ever possibly want.

Cameras – to keep memories with.

Swimming in a lake or ocean.  I’m a “water baby”.

Books; and being able to read and write

A toilet in my house!!!

Toilet paper   (in Czechoslovakia TP costs 25 cents a sheet)

Public restrooms. Think what it would be like without them. We’d have to be going in the bushes or ditches or behind trees.

Peeing in fresh water because we have copious amounts of it. Many would give anything to have a little bit of it.

All I need of running water – IN THE HOUSE!!!

School and school teachers who helped us learn to read, count, and write as well as helping us learn many other things.

Community Colleges, where I can go to learn new things for the rest of my life.

My grandmother; who showed me acceptance as a child and which I feel sure is, even now, rooting for me from heaven.

Honey – and the bees that make it.

My twin sister who made the difference between life and death when I was growing up and whom I am now finger-tight with.

Cape Cod Massachusetts where we went on vacation every year when I was growing up.

The ultra-clear water of the Cape Cod bay. So clear, you can see 20 feet down to the soft sandy bottom.

All the people who befriend, and care for  me.

The wonderful people I have in my life including several dear friends and people I get to associate with in AA and in my church.

Sunglasses — so I can drive safely.

All my wondrous senses: Eyes; Ears; Nose, Mouth, Tongue, Teeth, and Skin. And they all work perfectly!

Reading glasses. Because my eyes are getting older.

Shoes and socks to keep my feet warm and comfortable

My Vita Mix and coffee drink I get to make at home so  I can have it with decalf & soy milk.

Greeting cards and the silly stickers I get to put on them – and the artists who design stickers.

My “goofy sticker” collection so that I can cover correspondence with wonderful silly stickers.

That I don’t have any children (they scare the beejeebers out of me)

My husband, who has put up with a lot of my crappola.

All the hundreds of varieties of delicious fruit.

Not having a bulimic or anorexic problem

My brother Chris. A vulnerable soul.

House-trained doggies. Imagine what it would be like if they weren’t.

My 2 puppies who are completely and utterly beautiful and add never-ending joy to my life

Holding one of my two puppies in my lap and them licking me.

My sweet, sweet mother-in-law who now lives with us and is a treasure to have around.

Yogurt and oatmeal, and all the people who work to bring it to my table.

Language – so we can communicate with each other.

Chess – being able to play chess with Jerry. Games add a lot of joy to my life.

Also, all the varieties of board and card games and having enough money to buy them.

Computers, printers and printer paper and all the Brainiacs who invented them. What brains they must have to come up with all this insane and bazaar technology.

Medicine in general and how far we’ve come in it.

Our military which keeps our country safe from those who want to do us harm.

Currency trading that I can do with play $’s for fun.

The music of thousands of species of birds that serenade us.

All the pets I’ve had in my life. Drummer, Banner, Dancer, Potsy, Cally, Melissa, Greta, Gus, Mikey, Dulcenea, Willow, Dory, Joshua, & Sophia.

Living in a place where the water is totally scrumptelieisous and where it is cleaned so that I don’t get sick drinking it.

Entrepreneurs; who start businesses which help serve us in a phenomenal number of ways; fulfilling numerous needs and pleasures.

Swiffer sweepers that make dusting easy.

Bread and cheese – especially Swiss cheese

Bert’s Bees lip balm. Because my lips get so chapped.

Wastewater treatment plants (my husband worked in one) that clean up our water so to make it safe to drink. What would our water be like without these plants & workers?

Street lights that help us find our way in  the dark.

French bread for a dollar at Wall Mart

VOCA – a federally funded program with a tested way to get me through the affects from the attack and the PTSD from the childhood

H.P. blessing me with my current therapist who is actually having success at getting the residue PTSD removed and helping me with emotional regulation.

All the mirade of different people in the world I can bring love to. No two alike both in appearance or personality – adding enjoyment and fascination to life

Opposable thumbs, which give the ability to do things most other animals are incapable of doing.

Where food is concerned that I am able to choose the foods I want to eat. Only the top 10% of the world’s population have this luxury. And being able to eat 3 meals a day of good nutritious food.

Comfortable furniture to sit & relax on.

Chocolate cake

Sweet and good aromas – incense; nature; cooking food

Fire – that keeps me warm, lights the night, and cooks my food.

Funny movies — to me help forget trouble.

A working and pain-free body. Especially my back. Having pain there can be completely debilitating.

My gravity gym that helps me with my back injury.

Cake and cookies and ice cream and all the other thousands of fun foods to eat just for fun.  And that I can just think about them and I can have them.

The cornucopia of stuff in grocery stores here in this country.

The total cornucopia of life in this country.

Camping !!!

Telephones: so that we can make an instant connection with family and friends or business, whenever we want or need to.

“Hard times” classes – that God uses to grow me up more as a person.

And – my H.P. giving me regular “down” times of rest between “hard-time” classes. Like giving kids recess. It’s not the ‘other shoe dropping’. I thoroughly enjoy my recess times.

Inventors & artists; who imagine and bring to fruition all the things that help life be better and keep it fun and engaging.

A wonderful home to live in.

That we (currently) have no debt.

Being given a little apartment in Florence that has enough room, that doesn’t cost much and that took dogs.

Also being given a HEATED storage shed of big enough size to fit all our stuff. That is in Florence too and that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg.

Being given the money to build a home in the vacation destination coast town of Florence.

Having enough money to live a comfortable life.

Cigarettes and not really having an addiction to them but just being able to enjoy them in moderation. And then….

God giving me the ability to stop smoking without much trouble.

Doctors, Lawyers, Dentists, Psychiatrists, Therapists and all the other professionals who studied long and hard so that I can get the help I need.

That something good came out of my car accident – where I learned that forgiveness is one of the most important things to learn in this world. I learned that we all suffer for each other’s sins > me with them > and them with me too!!

Good-working pain-free feet to walk / run on.

A good working brain – to use and to learn with.

CD’s & DVD’s music and movies – and those who invent the stories and put them together.

Insurance for my life, home, car, and health; to increase peace of mind.

No-charge freeways here on the west coast. The east coast highways gobble up money by the truck-load with tolls every mile.

Dictionaries and text books that help us to learn more about the world.

News TV and newspapers to keep us informed of what’s happening in our world.

Also; weather people – guessing the weather. It’s like a game.

Being able to worship as I would like without fear of governmental reprisal.

Ear plugs so that I can have silence when I read

God giving me the willingness and honesty to ask for help. Something I never learned how to do from my parents.

A great psychiatrist who has set me up with a perfect combination of meds so that I can live a reasonably normal life for being Bipolar/ schizo affective.

Enough health insurance so that I can take the drugs I need to live a good life with Bipolar disorder and to see the Doctor when I need to.

The medicines that keeps me out of mental hospitals and all the R & D people working long and tirelessly to discover them.

That this medicine I need to take for the my disorder does not give me any side effects.

Mental hospitals so I have a place to heal when I need to

Christian talk radio that keeps me company when I’m alone.

5-HTP and B-6 that God brought into my life that keeps my body fully supplied with Serotonin – so that…

I am able to physically relax. It is a miracle that the God did for me which has made the carbohydrate obsession disappear.

The 30+ year food-abstinent friend who told me about the 5-HTP/B-6

A very good working car that I have had since 1992 and which I love with my whole heart. I never want to give Elsie up.

Enough money to put gas in my car and pay for car insurance so I can drive without worry.

God teaching me about traffic being an ‘automobile ballet’. Ballet is pandemonium on stage – yet 99.9% of the time no body runs into each other. That this is the way it is on the road. Pandemonium, Yet 99.9% of the time no one runs into anyone. I see those that ‘cut me off’ as principle dancers leaping around the stage. It keeps me calm as I’m dancing my part of the performance. It doesn’t make sense to worry about that .01%. It’s better to stay calm. God taught me this.

A NEW WINDSHIELD!! So I can see where I’m driving.

God helping me with my bad driving habits. Him telling me not to ‘scare the people’ and how that reformed me.

All my rings and jewelry –  and the artists who designed / created them.

Death – which intensifies appreciation of life.  It helps make life that much more precious.

Having legs, feet, arms and hands that work and not being sick or paralyzed in any way.

My stuffed animal collection

TV – and that I can enjoy it in a balanced way.

Books:  And for being given good eyes to read them. The authors who write them.

Having a reasonably healthy body

Being given the gift of being born in, and allowed to live in, America. I was born a US citizen so that I didn’t have work to be here or come to this first-rate country by stealth and live a life in constant fear. I’ve won the lottery!!

The fact that I know English – a universal language in the world & which has been known to be one of the hardest languages to learn. I was given it from birth.

Crochet and Macramé.  That is was God-invented I’m sure; and adds so much pleasure to my life.

Having wonderful colors all around me to look at – and having good eyes to be allowed to enjoy them.

Beef gelatin. It allows me to run at 57 years old.

All the beautiful clothes in my closet, and that I have Savers to shop at where there are so many beautiful clothes which don’t cost a lot of money.   I just love, love, love  Savers!!

God saying “Yes” to my request to learn how to pick out clothes that I really love. I love every piece of clothing in my closet!!

Not only having shoes –but shoes to match my clothes!

The beautiful park right up the street from my house where I can take my puppies for walks.

A beautiful HUGE beach to walk the dogs on. They soooo love the beach!! I love to watch their happiness. Their happiness brings me joy in my heart.

A safe, warm house where I can stay to be protected from harsh weather

An abundance of fluffy pillows, sheets, and warm blankets.

Ener-gel pens – that  write in a soft fluid motion. And that they are on sale 2 for 1 at Staples at the exact time I discovered them.

Wal-Mart – that seems to has everything I could ever want or need.

Winco grocery store that has great prices and good fruits and veggies.

Back-rubs. Need I say more?

That God taught me the importance of asking only “what & how” questions of Him. And that He so quickly answers these “what / how” questions. That He taught me the futility of asking “why” questions. That trying to answer these “why” questions is like trying to tell a dog where his food comes from. “Why’s” are way beyond my ability to understand. And being given the knowledge to it being ok that I don’t understand. Trust.

Money to pay for a gym membership. It has a Jacuzzi and 2 swimming pools!!

Running water – hot and cold – all over my house. I don’t even have to go to another room to get some.

Things I use to keep my writing in a safe place; printers, staplers, 3 hole punches, and binders.

Paper notebooks so that I can write where ever I am.

A comfortable bed and my husband to sleep with.

Watching my husband sleep.

Him staying with me thru thick and thin since 1986.

Watching my puppies sleep on their backs with their bellies showing and with all their little paws in the air.

God giving me Doxepin so that I am able to sleep at night  (not having insomnia)

The garbage man – so that we don’t have to live among the squalor of garbage.

Electricity and being able to use it in so many ways that makes life much easier and pleasant. Think what it’s like when the current is taken away.

Cat litter and litter pans – that keep the cat from pissing and shitting all over the house.

A footie heating pad that warms my feet at night

Having enough money to put food on the table and a good roof over my head and to keep life comfortable and to feed my puppies.

Soap and shampoo; towels. blow dryers; toothpaste and tooth brushes; combs and hair brushes; hand creams and body lotions. and all the things needed to help me feel physically clean & comfortable. LUSH!

Puppies that love me totally & unconditionally. And who like to play with me.

Being freed of the family motto: ‘Life is hard and then you die’. God freeing me of that old idea.

That I am over 18 and, as an adult, have the freedom to allow my puppies to get up on all the furniture if they want to.

Cell phones to be able to  communicate with people while on the move.

Salad dressings to make salad more enjoyable – & those who make so many varieties of them

Not very expensive overnights at Casino hotels – just to put a little more fun in life.

That neither my husband nor I have a gambling problem so that we can safely go to these hotels without trouble

Popcorn @ the movies  and the fact that I can go to the movies whenever I want to.

Teflon cookware so that food is more easy to prepare.

Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful  washers & dryers so to not need to slave over a rock to have clean clothes to wear. I even have a pair in my house!

A refrigerator and freezer that preserves my food and so I don’t have to go to the store every day.

Crystal Light drink mix that helps keep me more pleasurably hydrated.

COFFEE!!! And my thermos cup to keep it hot longer.

Tin foil and Saran Wrap.

Zip-Lock bags and containers – of all sizes.

Neosporin, gauze, and Band-Aids.

Kitchen sponges, detergent and scouring powder. That make kitchen clean-up easy. And having a kitchen to clean up after.

A stove – so that I don’t have to deal with burning wood or other stuff to have warm, cooked food to eat.

I even own a micro-wave so I don’t have to wait long for my food and drinks to heat up. So opulent!

My fluffy pink slippers

My H.P. opening my eyes to see all  these things to be grateful for. Something I didn’t get in my childhood home.

Being given this gift of the knowledge of the power of gratitude. Understanding that this power is so powerful it could relieve my suicide obsession. Something that most suicidal people never get freed from. Though I still have to struggle with A LITTLE depression underneath (I’m never going to be perfect in this corporeal body). It has truly re-formed my brain from negative to positive. I NEVER WAKE UP IN A BAD MOOD. It’s always “What great things does God have in store for me today!!”

That I have so many things to be grateful for. Knowing I’ve just begun to scratch the surface of this mother lode that God has blessed me with. His blessings on my life are greater than abundant. I live a life wilder than my wildest drunken dreams.