Jerry and I spent the whole day together. We had a lot to do. First we went to the noon Alano club AA meeting to see old Dave. He’s the secretary. I saw Terrina there who paid me $60 of the $300 she owes me. She left the meeting early so I didn’t get a chance to talk to her. She’s avoiding me for some reason. Oh well. And so it goes on the relationship merry-go-round. I’m not at all good at relationships. I was eating licorice. which I’m sure she saw. I told her I was off junk food. I felt very ashamed of that.
Then Jerry and I went to the 2:00 AA meeting. The club has about 8 meetings a day there. I was asked to lead it. I did – reluctantly. The meeting turned out to be a dud. I let anyone share and only the weirdos took me up on my offer. It was totally out of control. Now I know why people call on people. I’ll never do that again. The first one to share when on for 10 minutes until I cut him off. He got all huffy with me and left. Someone when after him though and later he came back in an apologized.
We did some errands and had a fight about Jerry being late getting back to the car. I waited and waited and then went in to find him. I forgot I could call him!!! I can’t for the life of me know why I’d forget to do this. I went in looking for him and he came out while I was looking. He gave me the business for that. I can’t deal with it when he gets mad. He thinks nothing of letting me have it right between the eyes. I want to bite him and bite him and bite him. I can’t seem to keep my composure like I’m told in Al Anon.
We then went to our Bible study with young Dave. He’ a great Bible teacher and Jerry’s good friend. It was a very good meeting. On the way home, we talked a little bit. I wish I could leave Jerry but finances prevent me from doing that.