(the first post in this series is here: On Being a Social Outcast )
(the previous post in this series is here: Putting It All Together – Part 8 )
The best way I know of to handle this type of destructively loud, deceptively parent-like, but actually child-like Introject, is through the act of ‘soothing’ to calm it down from it’s frightened state. What’s more, because my main Introject is so strong that there are no other ~parts~ inside me strong enough to do the amount of powerful soothing necessary to keep it calmed down.
The only ~Being~ I have found, who’s strong enough, and loving enough, to soothe a crazed Introject like mine (and this is part of the ‘holy bitch’ aspect of recovery I had to face) is the God of Christ. Yes, that detestable ‘C’ word. It was a huge pill for me to swallow too. But living through the agony of not drinking buckled me to my knees so that I saw the value of this particular God’s character.
But don’t stop reading here just because I’ve mentioned the ‘C.’ word.
During that time, as per AA’s instructions, I managed to wangle out a Higher Power. Actually, He found me. How this happened can be read in a six-part post here:
I very much hope you will take the time to read this story as it was integral to the success of my healing process. When I look back on the experience I had with my Higher Power, I can’t help but realize that, way before I ever believed in Him… He believed in me. And I truly believe that He believes in us all . We are… all... His children. We are a marvel in His eyes. I can say that with gusto now. But before I stepped into His world, I couldn’t even hardly mention His name. Jesus Christ? – YUCK!!
But please don’t stop reading because I mentioned the “C” word.
If you continue to the end I can almost guarantee that you will have found this ‘worm hole’ yourself, that leads to the other side. The side where there is freedom, peace, and pure unadulterated… happiness. Chores won’t bother you; things won’t bug you. People (including children) won’t upset you or scare you anymore. The war inside you… will be over.
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(the next post in this series is here: Putting It All Together – Part 10 )