(the first post in this series is here: On Being a Social Outcast )
(the previous post in this series is here: Self Hatred )
As I’ve worked on this and worked on this, it’s feeling more and more ~book-length~ I think. I put a lot of effort into it in an attempt to make it as short and concise as possible. If you are a person experiencing life as one long test of endurance, I hope you decide to read the whole thing. My hope is that you’ll find it meaty, innovative, and exceedingly helpful in relieving your emotional pain and existential angst… thoroughly and forever. I mean it: … thoroughly… and… forever. This is what happened to me.
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Before I begin, I want to say that I do not see myself as a victim any longer. These are observations about my past that are helping me to overcome it. These are mentally neutral observations only.
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I think I may have found a neat way for addicts and child-abuse sufferers to fully and completely recover… for good! There are several key elements in a series of steps I stumbled upon, that helped me achieve a level of success with the demons, which for the last 60 years, I have carried with me from my own severe abuse, addictions, obsessions and co-dependency. Here is my story about this discovery which is mostly about the subject of the Introject.
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What do you think of this definition of an ‘Introject’, and how to handle it?
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This is my definition of the ‘Introject’,
and how I learned to quite successfully handle mine.
Introjects live in a person’s mind, parroting the words of influential adults and peers who the person came into contact with when they were a child. The process of Introjection also includes the implied ‘voices’ of what the child inferred by these influential persons’ words and actions. The child estimates his own value by using what these people said or did in regards to him, and also about how he should relate to others, and to the world in general. In my research on this, I learned that every person not living in complete isolation (which is impossible) carries at least one of these. Most of us carry many more – one for each influential person we came into contact with as a child.
I use the pronoun ‘it’ when referring to the Introject, because it is not a person. It is only an emulation of one, and has different ‘qualities’ then the actual person it represents. For one thing, it’s not to be blamed for bringing all the trouble into one’s life. It is not the actual person… only the ghostly voice of one. As you will see later on, this is a very important concept to understand. Introjects are not to be hated or blamed in any way. They are not people, just disembodied parroting voices. There is no need to fear these phenomena. Instead, we will be spending our time simply examining them and then – eventually – treating them with empathy. As far as I can see, treating the Introject in any other way… will… not… work.
For some, their ‘Introjects’ are mature and good, which is a good thing in that they keep you balanced and help the Adult-Part of you mature and so be the guiding force in your life. For others, some of these Introjects are really quite destructive.
If an Introject is destructive, then you have a big problem on your hands as it insistently and intensely yells at you that you’re shit; that the world is full of peril; and that the people in it are there to be either dominated or feared.
the next post in this series is here : Putting It All Together – Part 2 )